Mythmaking is as central to sustaining our economy as profit-making, particularly as severe environmental degradation, breathtaking inequality, and increasing alienation among youth push capitalism against its own contradictions. Enter the new prophets of capital. In this moment of crisis, a new generation of wealthy mythmakers, masquerading as progressive thinkers, has emerged to reinvent the free market as the solution to society´s problems. With Oprah rallying the poor to bootstrap their way into the middle class; Sheryl Sandberg calling on women to "lean in" to the unequal demands of a sexist world; and Bill and Melinda Gates offering the generosity of the 1 percent as the solution to a persistent, systemic inequality, the new prophets of capital buttress the exploitative system, even as the cracks grow more visible.